Gender Bender!
by Saikou-Sama
Summary: A giftfic for my friend, who wanted crack, AshxMisty and a surprise. The Rockets kidnap Ash in an attempt to ruin his life, but it ends up being the thing he needs to get together with that special someone...Oneshot. Complete.


It was still hazy when Ash woke up.  
He was attempting to cook eggs over the campfire that had smoldered overnight, which was something Brock usually did, but he seemed to have wandered off somewhere. As he was absorbed in his task, he suddenly felt two hands go around his eyes and tinkle, "Guess who~?"  
"Misty? What are you--" But Ash was to never finish that sentence. Actually, he never got to finish most sentences with Misty.  
One mouth was suddenly pressed over the other, and the lips fused together. Ash allowed himself to swim in the euphoric pleasure of the sensation. When they broke contact, (and the breaking of the suction made a large popping sound in the morning air), Ash muttered, slightly flustered, "Gee, Misty. You don't have to be so aggressive so early in the morning. I know it's a natural thing, but just 'cuz we're alone and I'm a guy and you're a g--"  
Misty stopped him with a quick peck on his cheek. "Silly, you liked it. Now finish up those eggs, I'm starving."  
Ash continued to mumble. "And that kiss was a little scratchy, anyway..."  
Misty giggled. "That's you're fault! Who forgot to shave this morning? You only play a 10 year old on TV. Don't forget that."  
Ash unbent enough to grin at that. "I'll try to remember on our date tonight."

Meanwhile, not surprisingly, the nefarious Team Rocket was watching the young lovers via binoculars.  
"Why are we kidnapping Ash again?" whined James.  
"The Boss said so, you ninny. Now keep quiet."  
"I don't see why he can't just be happy with our television roles," pouted James. "That makes enough money, heaven knows."  
Meowth smacked him upside the head. "Listen, you! The Pokemon TV series wanted real criminals to play the bad guy roles, so they contacted the Boss. But do you think Boss would just be content to accept the paltry sum they can afford to pay him? You get your money and stay outta jail, but the Boss needs more than chump change. You don't think Team Rocket got to be where it was today because it was only focused on Pokemon crimes?"  
James squirmed. "But, this is just...so wrong."  
Meowth sighed. "If you help us out real well, I'll ask boss about letting you dress in men's clothes more often."  
"Or at least, no pantyhose?"  
Jessie finally hissed at them. "Enough! Listen, the little twerp is going to meet Miss Sunshine at a diner around 8 tonight. That gives me an idea. Get back to the base!"

After breakfast, Misty and Ash washed up the dishes. Brock still hadn't returned. Misty said, "I'll go look for Brock. We have filming today." Ash had lain down on his sleeping bag and he rolled his eyes lazily towards her. "If he's doing what I think he's doing, he won't be back until it's time to shoot. Why don't we relax?"  
Misty curled up beside Ash, snuggling into his chest. "Oh, and what do you propose we do, all alone, out here? With no one around? Except us two?" Ash rubbed her shoulder seductively. "Do I have to spell it out?" he growled huskily.  
"Spell what?" asked Misty with mock innocence.  
For the next few minutes, all that could be heard were Misty's passionate squeaks.

A few hours later, after finding all her clothes, Misty announced that she was going to get Brock. "I don't trust him to get back in time." Ash mentioned that, is his guess was right; he should be in the town on the street corner near the PokeCenter.  
Misty found him there, dressed in shabbier clothes than usual, calling out to girls on the corner. "Please help me! I became blind on my Pokemon journey, and I need help finding my lost love! Won't anyone help me?"  
He stopped a girl on the street. "Ivy! Is that you? You walk just like Ivy. Let me check!" At which point Brock would then try to cop a feel from the girl up and down. "You're just like her! Oh, maybe I could forget my Ivy if you would take care of me!"  
The girl ran away at this point. "Oh, where did she go??"  
Misty marched right up to him and grabbed him by the ear. "WHAT do you think you're doing?!"  
Brock tried to shush her. "Listen, even if they don't stay, this is still a great gig! I'm blind, see? I can't get in trouble."  
Misty sighed. "You know, the chances that a girl will ever fall for this idiotic trick is slim to none. Most likely, a girl that dumb doesn't exist."  
Brock put on a hopeful face. "But I just need to find that one and I'm set for life!"  
Misty couldn't restrain it any longer, and knocked Brock out with a karate chop.  
He luckily revived in time for filming, but he was a bit groggier than his character usually called for.  
Misty had a hair appointment to get ready for tonight's date with Ash, so she gave him a kiss and set off.

Misty waited for Ash that night at the diner for one whole hour. Misty was getting angry until a Jenny (Misty thought of all police personnel as Jenny) walked up. "Are you looking for Ash? He was kidnapped by Team Rocket a few hours ago. I think they went to their secret hideout."  
"Why didn't you stop them!?!!" Misty yelled as she grabbed her bike.  
The Jenny sipped her milkshake. "I'm off duty."  
Misty sped away.

Ash had been conked on the head while wandering around the diner earlier. He had wanted to bribe the waiters early so he wouldn't have to wait for a table. He had forgotten to make reservations, but didn't want to call off his date.  
James had distracted Ash by playing a woman with excessive cleavage who picked rocks up off the ground (he hated that role), and Jessie had conked him on the head.  
Ash woke up stripped and strapped to a bed.  
"Where--where am I?"  
Giovanni came out of the shadows. "You may beat us on TV, Mr. Ketchum, but this is reality...and there's someone who would like to see you."  
"You won't get away with this!"  
Giovanni chuckled evilly and went away.  
"Ash..." came a voice that was disturbingly familiar."You know I've always hated you...So I arranged this! Let's see how your precious Misty likes you after you've been...hehehehe."  
And to his horror, an equally bare Gary Oak came out of the dark. "Gary--!"  
"But of course, it wouldn't be right if it was just me....so many people hate you, Ash."  
And from behind, out came Giovanni, James, Meowth, all those Rocket extras he had defeated in his television show...and then he noticed there seemed to be a line.  
Gary smiled. "I've got sixteen cases of Red Bull to feed you intravenously. And those bonds are made of titanium."  
Ash gave up hope.

About dawn, with his body aching from overuse and too much Red Bull, Misty finally had found the Rocket Love Hotel and beat up all the guards. Misty burst into the room, to find a really wonked out Ash with some guy who is not to be named except as grunt #25467. In the bloody aftermath that happened afterward, it was said Misty had the strength and violence of 20 men.  
That wasn't the end of their problems. Months later, when Ash was going in for his last check-up he had to undergo for the trauma his sustained, he came out looking worse than ever.  
"Ash! What's wrong?"  
"Misty..I don't know how to explain it but...but..."  
"But..?"  
"It must have been the Red Bull or something but..."  
"Ash Ketchum, spit it out!"  
"I'm pregnant!"  
It took quite sometime for Misty to regain consciousness.

As the pregnancy continued, Misty grew more supportive. They had decided to wait for the paternity test until after the birth. Ash didn't think he could go on with his life if he had to think about that dreadful night again.  
The weeks past, and it grew harder to hide his ever inflating tummy on the TV cameras. Usually, a female character that was pregnant might get married to explain the change, but it was slightly more difficult with Pokemon being a children's show and the fact that Ash was male.  
Gary became quite sorry and made several visits to Ash. He seemed convinced that it was going to be "Gary Jr.", and gave Ash special slippers to wear when his feet started spreading from the weight. The only other person who made any gesture was James, who apologized to Ash for wearing a dress during the...incident, but that he wasn't ready for responsibility quite yet, so he could do whatever he wanted with the child. In truth, James was a prisoner of Jessie, who was manlier than he would ever be, and though he loathed the fact that he wore the dresses, he still found her such a turn on.  
Misty was the one who had to deal with Ash's mood swings, nausea, discomfort in the sleeping bag, and just being "too tired" all the time.  
When the day finally came it was Misty who was right there, as Ash screamed for drugs to be put under. Which they did and it made it so much more pleasant for all parties involved.  
As they waited for the results of the test in the hospital, Misty told Ash that no matter what, she would be there and love the child as if it was theirs. "Because I love you, Ash. And nothing will change that!"  
A nurse came in with the results. "Mr. Ketchum it seems the...father of your child is Misty."  
"What?! Misty, you sent in your DNA as well?"  
Misty shrugged. "Listen, if you can get pregnant, I thought 'Why couldn't I be the daddy?'. Didn't seem too big a stretch."  
"But, that was before the Red Bull..."  
"Listen, I don't know how it happened, but I love you. That's what matters."  
Ash gave her a resounding kiss while the nurse snuck out.  
"Yikes!" Misty said. "A little scratchy!"  
Ash smiled. "Well, who forgot to shave, hmm? Go and get cleaned up and we can see our daughter...My sweet little transvestite."  
And Mr. Misty happily skipped into the Men's Room to shave.


End file.
